Welcome to the Island of Dolls, Admission Price is Your Soul

The only souvenir you get here is life long nightmares. This may be one of the single creepiest things I have ever seen. It reminds me of something that happened in high school where a bunch of dolls were found in front of the school with like there heads cut off (I don't really remember the specifics). You can see the full gallery here, courtesy of The Chive.

Pictured above: Not the work of someone sane

Moster Truck Back Flip = Awesome

I don't think I'd ever want to go to a monster truck show, being I'm no longer 5, but seeing a vehicle do a back flip is pretty awesome.

Clean Hit?

I'm not sure if that's a legal move in kid's soccer. Or any other non-combat sport

It's not his fault. He started swinging his fists in front of him, and the other kids walked into them.

Monday Music - Ludacris "Game Got Switched" and "Girls Gone Wild"

Ludacris is one of the most, in my opinion, underrated rappers out there. Sure he does a lot of pop songs, but if they were offering me the kind of money I assume they're offering him I'd do the same thing. He's a talent, and I've got two of his best tunes this week.

"Game Got Switched"

"Girls Gone Wild"

In Case of Emergency

In case of emergency, rip window off of wall, and then feel shame

Karl's Top 7 - Favorite Xbox Games

PS2 and Xbox side by side - Yeah, I don't think anyone ever used the word "compact" to describe an original Xbox

It's been a while since I've hit ya with a Top 7 list, and a lot of that has to do with how busy I've been the last little while. But with all that bullshit starting to pass, I can now (maybe) post some original content. I actually meant to make this list about a month ago, but instead a late night msn convo led to the guest posts with Them Happenings. Somehow this list got pushed back for a while, but it will now make it's triumphant debut.

I still remember the day I got an Xbox. I was in grade 7, and I came home from school for lunch. I was planning on having a few friends over for the lamest party you've ever seen, and when I looked in my family room I saw that there was an Xbox plugged into the TV. I had thought that my mom had rented one from the Blockbuster for the party (even though I had asked her not to) but she instead revealed that she had purchased one earlier in the day while I was at school. Unlike when I got a N64, I was the first of any of my friends to have a Xbox (tons of people had PS2s and Gamecubes, but no one had a Xbox) and I was pretty pumped about it. Though I eventually bought both a Gamecube and a PS2, the Xbox was my console of choice between for almost five years (and even then it was replaced with a 360).

I figure this has been enough of a preamble, so let's start the list already. And by start the list I mean look at the honorable mentions

Honorable Mentions
Jet Set Radio Future - One of the two games that came with my Xbox, JSRF was strange to say the least. A game about a group of rollerblading teens that fight cops by spray painting everything in sight couldn't really be ordinary though. Featuring really cool cell-shaded graphics, tons of areas and stuff to do, and all the weird Japanese music you could handle, JSRF suprised me and ended up being a great game. And if it hadn't come with my Xbox, I probably wouldn't have played it.
Jade Empire - Whenever Bioware comes out with a new RPG, I know I'm going to play it. This isn't the only time they will appear on this list (and if I were to do a top 360 list, they would appear there too). Jade Empire was just a great game - too bad it was held back by what seemed like never ending loading screens.
The Splinter Cell Trilogy (Splinter Cell, Pandora Tomorrow and Chaos Theory) - there's no doubt that these games are great - many consider Chaos Theory to be the best game on the original Xbox - but I don't think I ever finished any of them. I did play all three, and they were great, but none of them crack my top 7.

Armchair Matchmaker - UFC Fight Night 24

A solid night of fights with some good finishes, though not too many suprising endings. Phil Davis was able to take a decision over Antonio Rogerio Nogueira in the main event and Anthony Johnson made a successful return against Dan Hardy. Now onto the matches to make

Cut List - Sean McCorkle, Kris McCray, Mario Miranda, Alex Caceras

Phil Davis vs the winner of Jason Brillz vs Vlad Matyushenko
Davis was able to edge Nogueira in the main event, but he is still a few fights away from a potential title shot. A fight against the winner of Brillz v Matyushenko provides another tough, veteran opponent for Davis, though one he should be able to beat. Davis needs to work on what to do when he can't score his takedowns, and neither Brillz or Matyushenko pose a huge threat to him on the feet. A win in this fight for Davis could have him one fight away from a title shot.

Domino's really knows thier clientele

Good idea to order before 4:20, because you're really going to want the pizza after but won't to talk to people.

Problem is, you're gonna want like ten of these

Eww Cooties

Worst part is the cootie shot dispensary is so far away.

You should have seen this coming, the ladies love a man in a suit

Sexual Harassment is very bad

If this video teaches you one thing, it's the proper response to the age-old question "I hear you have a fat cock" is always "Yes. I do."


I know the videos fake, but any education we can get is good right?

Someone made an oopsie

At least the bus has manners.

When the fuck did they put a store here???

Cat Fight!

What did you expect?

Now Introducing Hot Carl and the Shenanigans

While googling myself, I found the myspace page for a band called Hot Carl and the Shenanigans. I can't actually recommend you go to their site, because I listened to one song and it was fucking awful. I don't think they'll notice the free publicity I'm giving them, as their last update was two and a half years ago. I hope for them that they've improved since then, and are having lots of success. In the meantime, here's an objective review of the movie Mighty Ducks 2

Conway for MVP

Bullying is Very Bad - THE GHETTO REMIX

Here at Karl's Shenanigans, we take a hard stance against bullying. If someone's getting all up in your grill,  piledrive that motherfucker. And when bitches start getting all uppity, smack her so hard half her hair falls off. Check out this classic ghetto fight below.



According to Lydia, this shit is off the hook. Apparently the woman in the orange shirt can make people gay purely by calling them gay. I presume these two are fighting for the role of bottom bitch. At one point I thought the little girl was going to ref the fight between the two. All of the sudden Snoop Dogg's long lost brother comes out, presumably to see what all the hollerin' is about. Then the fight starts, and HOLY SHIT. The woman in the white shirt looked like fucking Anderson Silva, landing punch after punch, even mixing a few knees in. Cars start stopping, which I don't understand. This is the hood, there were probably another two bitches fighting up the street. Moral of the story? If you can't walk the walk, don't talk the talk.

This sums up the bible

The only people that should get offended by this are people that think Jesus was real, but was totally lame

I feel that's an accurate representation of the times

Karl's Picks - UFC Fight Night 24

Woo free card! There's an interesting mix of fights on the card - not many with real title implications, but hey, they are free. I'll break down the strengths and weaknesses of each fighter and make my predictions. Fuck a preamble, let's get right into this shit.

I don't think humans are supposed to look like that

Hispter Childish Gambino

My undying love for everything Donald Glover is pretty well documented, so when I saw this, I knew I had to post it. Hipster Childish Gambino is pretty straightforward. It's Gambino lyrics over pictures of hipster shit. And it just works on so many levels. I don't want to talk about the guy any more because I already feel like I'm giving off a stalker vibe, so I leave you with this.

Clearly she never attended The Velvet Jones School of Technology

Monday Music - Queens of the Stone Age "Make It Wit U" and "Song for the Dead"

I just realized that I didn't put up a Monday Music today. I'm sorry to the one or two people that may have noticed. Anyways, this week I've got two songs from the band Queens of the Stone Age. Their album Songs for the Deaf is pretty fucking sweet, I highly recommend torrenting it. Song For the Dead has some sick drum solos on it, courtesy of Mr. Dave Grohl. Check out the tunes, and hopefully I'll remember earlier next week.

 "Make It Wit U"

"Song for the Dead

So I'm on Twitter now...

Yeah, I never really wanted to join, but as a consummate professional I felt it was necessary. So, you should follow me at chris_pownall (real creative I know) because it's kinda sad having like 1 follower.

Also, on a site-related note, Karl's Shenanigans passed 1000 page views last week. I want to aim for 2500 by the end of April so start telling all your friends to visit - I promise to work more on original content if you do.

And now for something completely different

I have to admit, I'm a little impressed. Like, that's gotta be a record.

Armchair Matchmaker: UFC 128

I considered not doing a matchmaker post, but (as you can pretty obviously tell) I ended up doing one anyways.  Also, I just realized that Cage Potato has the exact same headline as I do. Difference, mines more in depth and theres will get like 100 times the amount of hits. Now, onto the picks

Cut List
Eliot Marshall, Mirko Cro Cop (well, he should retire)

Jon Jones vs Rashad Evans
It's not really the fight I want, but it's the fight that makes the most sense right now - all the other contenders either need to win a few more fights or are tied up in other matches. If Randy Couture somehow beats Lyoto Machida at UFC 129, I would rather have him fight for the title instead of Evans. I don't think Couture will win though, so let Evans have the first crack at it.

Shogun Rua vs Rich Franklin
Both guys are former champions. Both guys are coming off losses. Both guys are primarily known for their stand-up. The timing on the fight makes sense, it's one the UFC can sell, and it's a fight Shogun should be able to win. Not the most exciting match up, but one that makes sense from the UFC's perspective.

Rest of the fights after the jump

Just walking my pet...

... like a motherfucking boss

I should note that updates may be a little slow for the next week, I got a whole lot of shit to do, and won't be able to post as much. Matchmaker for UFC 128 and picks for the fight night card will come soon.

Best of Both Worlds

By now, I presume most of you have heard the song "Friday" by Rebecca Black - quite possibly the worst song ever made. But now, the song has finally found it's place in the world - mashed up with the movie Friday. Check it out

I'm sure this is what Rebecca (or whoever wrote the turd of a song) was thinking about when they wrote the song - Ice Cube and Chris Tucker smoking weed on a porch. It's what I think about every time I write horrible pop songs featuring heavy autotune and the first rap verse in the history of music to not contain a single rhyme (except for the clever rhymes of "seat" to "seat" and "lane" to "lane"). Fucking kids these days, they don't know what the music is all about. IT'S ABOUT THE COCAINE PEOPLE.

Also, I couldn't tag this with music. Not in good conscience at least.

BOB SAGET

If you've never had the pleasure of watching a Tourette's guy video, you're in for a treat. I featured Tourette's guy in my very first post, and rightly so - the man is a fountain of wisdom. From classic lines like "Fuck Salt" to "I'd kill myself too if my last name was Combs", he just speaks his mind. Unfortunately, he passed away a few years back, because God needed one of his greatest creations in heaven.

This is just a sample of the genius that is Tourette's Guy. RIP buddy.

That dog is guilty!

Guilty of being adorable!


And now for more puppies cause puppies are the bestest

Puppies make my heart happy

Happy St. Patricks Day

Now go get drunk

Seriously, what are you waiting for - go.

My new favorite actor

His name is Jesse Heiman, and he's been in..... pretty much everything. You may recognize him as Petey, the retarded trombone player from American Pie 2, but he's been in tons of other movies - Spiderman, Old School, The Social Network included. Check out this highlight reel of some of the shows and movies hes been in, and see if you recognize him in any of them.

He's got a good point there

I'm not here to discuss bisexuality (this blog is about mashups of Jeopardy and Menace 2 Society, not serious discussion), but this guy does a pretty good job of countering one girl's response that people can be bisexual.

His comment has four likes, it must be true.

Obligatory Charlie Sheen Post

I haven't posted anything on the Charlie Sheen saga yet, mainly cause you can find enough of that shit everywhere else. I admit to it being pretty funny, but I guess I'm in Charlie Sheen overload. Which i guess is the only way to feel around Charlie Sheen. I guess my life just isn't bitchin' enough to handle it. Not enough tiger blood.

Pictured: Winning

All the pimps hit up the Applebee's

This guy knows how to spend a vacation. Get nachos, hit on the waitress, get in a fight - sounds like a perfect night to me.

I disagree, Applebee's is mad chill

Karl's Top 7 - Sports teams I most want to see win a championship

I haven't really covered sports on this blog much (outside of the UFC), so I felt it was time to do a solid post on the subject. I'm not big on either the NFL or NBA, so my list will only include NHL and MLB teams.The Top 7 teams that I want to win a championship the most, and my reasoning for the placement.

Tie 7. Cincinnati Reds/Colorado Rockies

I'm about equal on my desire to see these two teams win: I admit that I'm not anywhere near as big a baseball fan as I am a hockey fan, but these are two teams that I've always liked. I rooted for the Rockies when they played the Red Sox in the World Series, party because fuck the Red Sox, but also cause I liked how they were at the top without blowing the bank. Also, the Reds have Joey Votto (Canadian!) so I gotta give them some love.

Fuck Venom, I'll catch him later

Here's a picture of Spiderman, chillaxing like a motherfuck.

No further comment necessary

Karl's Picks - UFC 128

UFC 128 is a pretty big card. Shogun Rua comes back from surgery to take on Jon Jones, one of the most hyped prospects ever in the UFC. Throw stars Urijah Faber, Mirko Cro Cop and Nate Marquardt in and you got one of the biggest cards of the year. I'm switching up the style of the fight breakdowns to, at least I feel, show more reason behind my picks.

Check out the picks after the jump

Can't be letting bitches get all uppity and shit

Co-Pilots: The kids in the backseat of the sky

This just might be the most awesome house in the world

Thanks to the Chive for these, and almost all of my other, awesome pictures

Hmmmm, what's that in the corner?

FUCKING AWESOME WATER SLIDE THAT'S WHAT!!!!

Religous Bullying is also very bad

As I'm sure you all know, Japan got hit with a massive earthquake on the weekend. Most of us sane people realize that this is a tragedy, though apparently at least one person thinks this was a good thing. No, I'm not talking about the people that said it was karma for Pearl Habour (pretty sure that Fat Man and Little Boy covered karma and then some). I'm talking about the girl in the video below, who claimed that the earthquake was "an answer to her prayers" and a sign to "show all the athiests that God exists". Apparently she skipped the geography lesson where they explained fault lines, and instead thinks God was "shaking Japan by the shoulders". See the nutcase in action.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. One, she talks about God like she's his stalker. Only crazy people talk about how they love anything that much. God should get a restraining order on this bitch, and soon. Two, she says that she is praying that God bring similar disasters to Europe and America, because there's alot of athiests there too. Now, I have no problem with believing in religion. Hell, I'm a Christian myself. But when you start saying that you prayed for hundreds of people to die, you cross into crazy country.

Bullying is very bad

You gotta pick your fights. You can't just try and fight anybody, especially people twice your size. It's just a bad idea. Need proof? Watch this



Yeah, that kid gets straight FUCKED UP. The big guy must be a wrestling fan cause he piledrived that kids head hard in to the ground. I'm suprised that the kid could get up afterwards. Also, no one seems to try and help the kid who has pretty clearly been concussed. Moral of the story? If a kid half your size is bullying you, introduce his face to some pavement. If the kid doesn't learn now, someone else will teach him later. And that guy might not let the kid (kind of) get back up after.

Monday Music - System of a Down "Sugar" and "Spiders"

Most of music posts so far have been about rap and hip hop, so I decided to switch it up for the 2nd Monday Music. When I was in high school, System of a Down was my absolute favorite band.I don't know what is about nu-metal that connects so well with 15 year old white kids, but it just works. I remember hearing "Sugar" for the first time at my buddies house in grade 7 or 8, and thinking "This shit is BADASS". Both these tunes are of their debut, self-titled album, and they're both kickass jams. Music videos are strange though. What is that thing in the Spiders video?

Sugar

Spiders

THE FINAL COUNTDOW

I'm not 100% sure, but I think this is what the 80's were like

Dinosaurs were known for they're keyboard skillz

Now Introducing Karate Kyle

Internet memes can range in quality - some are awesome (Philosoraptor and Courage Wolf come to mind), while others are a little retarded (example being Technologically Impaired Duck). There's a new one on the scene, and it's known as Karate Kyle. Here's an example.

That's some pretty funny shit there. Check out more Karate Kyle here. And to learn more about memes, I suggest a trip to Know Your Meme.

A Glorious Dawn - Carl Sagan feat. Stephen Hawking

Now, these two might not be the first people you think of when you think music. Yet, here they are, singing songs about the cosmos, Granted, it's just autotuned quotes by them, but the end result is actually really cool. Plus, space is just straight awesome. As it goes with all space posts, bowls are reccomended before viewing

Note - Carl Sagan smoked the buddha every day (seriously, check it out ), so that means you should too

Bitch can't change me!

He's ain' puttin up with her bullshit any more. If bitch walking around like she hot shit when she's not hot shit, then BITCH GOTTA GO.

He don't fuck around with no $2 ho

They've been fighting the man for 65 years

The cops told them they couldn't walk around the mall in the morning anymore

If he bends his back like that he'll pull something

We will be oppressed by babies no longer!

I don't know what this could possibly mean other than representing the great uprising against the infant overlords. Oppressive bastards.

Fucking babies. They always try to get you right as you come out of the shower

Retro Reboot - Ocarina of Time Achievement List

Achievements are one of the best additions of the current console generation. They add additional, optional, goals for games, and if you really like a game you'll try to collect all the points you can. Older games never got this opportunity - until now. I've already done the Drinking Achievement List and the Stoner Achievement List, and now I'm going to make list for games that never got a chance to have them in the first place. I intend to do more of these later, but for the first one, there was only one game I could choose. Check out the list after the jump.

Woo Party

I think this guy is ready to fuckin' jam

I don't know about you guys, but I'm eying up that Colt 45 on the shelf

To make the night complete, we need one more thing though
Find out after the jump

Racism is very bad Part 2

So close, yet so far

Stop parking on this guys privates

C'mon man. It's just rude to park on a man's privates. It's just bad park.

Call me racist, but something tells me the guy who wrote this is Asian

Karl's Top 7 - Favorite Movies when I was 9

Back in 1999, things were a little simpler. We were still worried about Y2K, Sega was still making systems, and boy bands were delivering subliminal messaging urging us to join the army. Good times. This was also, in my eyes, one of the golden periods for films, and my top 7, according to how I ranked them at the time, are below.

7. Pokemon: The Movie
Not only was Pokemon just about the coolest fucking thing in the world, but Mewtwo, the main antagonist of the film, is just a straight up badass. I remember this moving be sold out at the local theater for the longest time, but eventually I managed to go see it. My dad even sent away to get the free cards because they had run out at the theater by the time I saw the movie. My memory of the plot is a little fuzzy (something about Mewtwo cloning an army of Pokemon, and Ash turned to stone, but love brought him back to life), but I remember it was way better than the Digimon movie. Also, trying to watch Digimon again is painful. The writing is so bad I'm not quite sure it legally qualifies as writing. And there's like 8 digivolutions an episode. Pokemon > Digimon > Monster Rancher any day.
Best Quote - Mewtwo: So this is my power... what is my purpose?

Childish Gambino EP

Childish Gambino, AKA Donald Glover from Community, who I've talked about 3 times already, just dropped his new EP, titled.....EP. There's only five tracks, and you're gonna be wanting more after you hear him. This could be the start of a very big year for Gambino, as I think he's starting to get the attention he deserves. I can't stress enough that you check this guy out.

EP can be downloaded off his blog, and you really should check it out.

In the mean time, here's the first tune I ever heard by Gambino, back in 2008. You can see the wit, but he's come along way since this.

Boy Meets World - The Urban Reboot

TV's grittiest program just got grittier - It's like watching fucking gravel or some shit

For the reboot, the role of Mr. Feeney will be played by Ice Cube

Harry Potter Revalations

Apparently, Universal decided to turn a Harry Potter fan fiction into a movie.

.

Turns out Ron is in love with Prof. Flitwick, but has been sleeping with Hagrid on the side

Just your average day Pt. 2

Bread? Check. Potatos? Check. Just got hit the apothecary aisle and I'm done!

Fuck, I should have worn my green robes today. The blue robes make me look fat.

Baseball's Play of the Year

Still in spring training, and we already have the play of the year locked down. In a preseason game between the Atlanta Braves and the Toronto Blue Jays (obligatory Go Jays mention), a bat went flying into the stands, and looked to be on a collision course with some old guy's jaw. That was when a bro by the name of Mitch Davie (with that name, he has to be a bro) stepped in and made a one handed catch of the bat just before it hit the old man. Why did he make a one-handed catch you say? Cause he was still holding his beer in his other hand. Need proof? See below:

Didn't spill a drop. Like a boss.

Given that this is probably the coolest thing to happen in the MLB since Ty Cobb literally went into the stand to beat up cripples (seriously, look it up), this has to win play of the year. Or at least a Sportcenter Top 10.

Monday Music: B.o.B - Beast Mode and Don't Let Me Fall

New segment, every monday I'm gonna post a cool song that you should listen to until your ears fall off. Or until you switch to another song. Your choice. Anyways, my inaugural choices are "Beast Mode" and "Don't Let Me Fall" by B.o.B., who just barely missed my Top 7 favorite rappers list, because they are awesome. Very different songs, but they are both awesome. Check em both out.

Beast Mode

Don't Let Me Fall

Enjoy the tunage, and try to forget that it's Monday and Mondays blow

Call me an AMBY, cause I'm ill BITCH

Cranktexts.com has a simple, yet amazing, premise. Crank text random phone numbers and try to start conversations. The results can get fucking awesome, and it is at its best when the person who is getting crank texted starts to play again. My favorites are the texts where he claims to be Big Kenny, the greatest rapper of all time. Dropping a rap where you claim to be having sex with a random person's mother to thier face is pretty much priceless.

Also, here's a completly unrelated picture that is pretty fucking sweet.

The Granny-Robot alliance was an uneasy one, but it was the only way to stop the evil motherfuckers that ran the IHOP.

Want some pictures? Well fuck you you're getting 'em anyway

Less words. More pictures.

Yep, that should just about do it

And now for something completely different

I'm very serious about joking around

And this is why Daniel Tosh is awesome

Tosh.O is some good shit. His comedy special on Netflix is pretty good too. Potentially ruining this girl's life? Fucking awesome.

All those tweets, and he sums it up in four words. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

LOOK KITTIES

Cats, the favorite animal of the strange world that is the Internet

Step 1: Teach cat to dance Step 2: ???? Step 3: Profit!

 More cats being cats after the jump

Just your average day

Just chillin, waiting for the bus

Margaret and Razghul -BFFs

Freaks and Geeks

Gambino's first video (as far as I know) Sick tune, sick rapper. EP drops March 8th - if you don't check it out I will find you and force the music into your face.

Freaks and Geeks from Donald Glover on Vimeo.

BTW theres a concert at the Opera house in Toronto on May 16th - I'll be there, you should be too.

Armchair Matchmaker - UFC on Versus 3

Cut List - Todd Brown, Joe Stevenson, Steve Cantwell, Rob Kimmons

Diego Sanchez vs Jon Fitch 2
I recommended this fight in the last Armchair Matchmaker, and I'm sticking with it - Sanchez vs Fitch 2 would decide a top contender in the division, especially if the belt gets vacated (in the event St. Pierre moves up to middleweight). There last fight was very close, and the two are both at the top of the welterweight heap. I don't seem to share the same disdain of rematches as a lot of fans, especially when a rematch could go either way.

The White Man brings us down no longer!

Finally, somebody tells it like it is

Truth.

 After the jump, bears being bears

I wish I was this cool when I was 2

I was just hustling on the street corner back then. Those were the bad ol' days, the days when men were men and dames were dames. Now these kids got their Jason Beiblers and their Jonah Brothers and their Twilights, and they don't know what the jazz is all about anymore. These kids though, they know the score.

Ken Jennings is my Hero

Since the death of my previous hero, Michael Jackson, my life has been a endless wasteland of despair, constantly searching for purpose through the bleak emptiness that is life. But finally, light at the end of the tunnel. Ken Jennings, under the pseudonym WatsonsBitch, opened a reddit forum stating that he would answer any and all queries anyone put forth. Being that this is the internet, the first question obviously pertained to supercomputer prison rape. You can check it out here. If this doesn't make you like Jennings more, than you are just a hateful person and should go jump off a cliff. Go. I'll wait.

BTW here's a picture of Alex Trebek from the 70's

This is what Trebek looks like if you watch Jeopardy on acid

To Do List

Hold on, looks like a full day to me

You forgot about naps! How could you forget about naps!

 This is gonna complicate those plans a little

This. Changes. Everything.

Racism is very Bad feat. Xzibit

Don't be racist. It makes Xzibit very sad. And he does not want tears in his tears, as he does not want to cry while he cries.

Xzibit reflects on the conflict of race

 After the jump, Xzibit meets Cobb

Fried or Fertilized?

From the artists that brought us the hit Lemme Smang It, comes the song Fried or Fertilized. The tune dares to ask the age old questions of whether a woman prefers her eggs fried, or if she instead prefers them to be fertilized. Also, Jellyfish. Enjoy.

Also, because the songs sick, here's Dr. Dre's I Need A Doctor.

EDIT: Dr. Dre in a giant tank is fucking awesome. Also, looks like Dre found where the steroids are.

How can something so wrong feel so right?

Thug Life