And Now The Single Greatest Moment in Cinematic History

How Jingle All The Way didn't get an Oscar I'll never know. Sinbad killed it (as he's been known to do) and it featured this scene. The Academy has their heads up their collective ass.

From Around the Interwebs # 8 - Special Holiday Themed Edition

Get it? Shes saying that the bully's mother is a common whore.

Pun Alert!

And Now Two Twin Babies Talking To Each Other

Damn it all! Why can't I remember how to speak baby? They look like they're having so much fun.

Something to Help You Get in the Christmas Spirit!

It's that time of the year - time for the yearly viewing of Christmas Vacation. Troy and Abed want to celebrate Christmas, but there's one problem: Troy is a Jehovah's witness. How will they solve this dilemma?

BTW, Community is in serious danger of being cancelled. You should write extremely threatening letters to NBC telling them to keep Community on the air. Or else.

From Around the Interwebs #7 - Chex, Jeff Goldblum and the Resurrection of Christ

Well, maybe of the week isn't the right term, considering it's been several weeks since the last one.... Hey at least I'm still trying to knock the occasional post out right? Here's 20 pictures to make you think

Truth. This kid speaks it.

I feel like when you pass out on the couch, it's like your cheating on the bed. But how could something so wrong feel so right?

Monday Music - Nelly "Grillz" and "Ride Wit Me"

I had the iTunes on shuffle yesterday, and it was just dropping bomb after bomb on me. From Ginuwine's classic "Pony" to the legendary Mr. Vegas banger "Hot Wuk", iTunes had the sick tunes on lock. And then it dropped Grillz on me. According to iTunes, I haven't listened to that song in more than two years. Yet I could still rap along pretty wall (and Paul Wall's line "call me George Foreman cause I'm selling everybody grills" is as fresh today as it was in 2005). Enjoy this wayback playback featuring one of rap's finest: Nelly

"Grillz"

"Ride Wit Me"

And Now A Camel that Laughs like Peter Griffin

That is all.

Lunchables Banned Commercial

In grade 3, if you checked your lunch for the day and you saw you were packin' a Lunchables, you'd be all like "OH SHIT HAM AND CRACKERS UP IN THIS BITCH". At least that's how I remember it. This Lunchables commerical seems to back up my story.


Well, what do you know about Snickers bite size?

The Top 20 Childish Gambino Tunes

Childish Gambino AKA Donald Glover has his first album under a label, Camp, coming out today. While I'll have that album (along with Drake's Take Care) on blast for the next couple of weeks, I'd like to make a list of Gambino's top twenty songs released so far. While I would reccomend checking out his entire discography (everything he's released so far is 100% free), check out these twenty tunes if you like Gambino or just good rap tunes in general

20. It's On (Single)

Pandas are Assholes

If one of your friends passes out, the rule is you cant prank em if they got in bed and got thier shoes off. That's the rule, and rules are what separate us from the animals.

Wizards in the Rap Game? OH SHITTTTTTTTTT

If i've learned one thing on this planet, it's that you don't fuck around with a high-level mage. I'm talking a mage with like 50 tomes of spells under his belt. You step for even like half a minute and they go all "LIGHTNING BOLT, LIGHTNING BOLT, LIGHTNING BOLT" on you. Then your all fried like a bucket of the Colonel's finest and they're partyin with wenches on five different fucking planes. And I ain't talking about some lame ass airplane either. I'm talking that inter-dimensional shit. Proof of this below



Sidenote - Workaholics is pretty funny and I recommend it to all

Wanna See Some Skinny White Dude Get Knocked the Fuck Out?

Of course you do.

Awesome Living Room High Kick KO - Watch MoreFunny Videos

Long Overdue And On The Wrong Day Monday Music - DJ 21azy

I realize my posting has been, well, non-existant, but I do plan on posting more soon. Anyways, DJ 21azy made some pretty cool mashups with Childish Gambino songs, and in case you didn't know yet, Childish Gambino is pretty cool. Also, one of the songs uses the theme from How to Make It in America, which is back for season 2 and also awesome.

"Put It In Your Manners"  - Chiddy Bang and Childish Gambino


"I Need a Dollar" - Aloe Blacc and Childish Gambino

Chevy Chase - He's Still Got It

If you don't know who Chevy Chase is, fuck you. The man is a definite legend along the likes of Bill Murray and Chris Farley. Caddyshack remains one of the best movies ever made, and I still watch Christmas Vacation every year. Also, Community is back and the most recent episode, "Remedial Chaos Theory", may have been there best yet. But what I got here for you is the Cast Evaluations from the Season 2 DVD.If youre a Community fan you should watch the whole thing, but otherwise, just skip to about the 8:45 mark, and see one of the greatest show you how its done.

A little bit of Magic

Just a quick shout out to my main man Arch Bishop Don Magic Juan - keep doing what we both know needs to be done.

Monday Music - Pearl Jam "Alive" and "Betterman"

For the record, Alive is my favorite song to play on Rock Band 2 - fun all the way through, not too easy but not too hard, awesome solo. Check out this awesome Pearl Jam sandwich I've made. It's good and good for you.

"Alive"

"Betterman"

Archie Out of Context = Comedy Gold

I don't know about any of you, but I use to be a big time Archie fan. Something about Riverdale just clicked with my 10-year old mind. Maybe I was on to something, because random Archie panels out of context are the shit. Archie Out of Context is my vote for tumblr of the week (one of the most prestigious Internet awards).

BTW the order of Archie comics (from best to worst) is:
1. Any Sonic one
2. Jughead Double Digest
3. Archie Double Digest
4. Archie
5. Betty and Veronica Double Digest (otherwise known as White Girl Problems: The Comic Book)

From Around the Interwebs #6 - Bear Stuff, Hidden Lesbians, and a Wizard

"Dammit Ricky, how the hell are we supposed to get down?"

Fuck you, that's why

Now Entering - Raj the Magnificent

This kid busts out some SERIOUS moves. Haven't seen moves like this since Thriller. You might even say there's a little bit of MJ in this young man.

EMBED-Fat Kid Can Shake It - Watch more free videos

Monday Music - Our Lady Peace "Clumsy", "Where Are You" and "Starseed"

Little late today, so I'll give you a triple dose of Our Lady Peace, cause I'm just that awesome.

"Clumsy"

"Where Are You"

"Starseed"

Spongebob's Ready to Kick some Ass

I wish I wasn't using a video from TMZ, but this is too good not to post - Spongebob Squarepants in a fight with two random females. Things do not go well for Mr. Squarpants, and at the end, it's revealed that *SPOILERS* Spongebob was actually a Mexican the entire time.

Remember when Stephanie called Kimmy a whore on Full House?

Classic Stephanie zinger.

From Around the Interwebs #5 - Dangerous Cliffs, Xzibit,and a little Pasta Salad

Doughy middle aged white men. The next Osama?

It's SARS all over again (Remember SARS? That shit was LAME.)

Monday Music - Foo Fighters "This is a Call" and "Everlong"

Dave Grohl is my idol. He makes kickass music, he kicks assholes out of his concerts, and he overall seems like a pretty cool character. The Foos have been one of my favorite bands for as long as I can remember, and  The Colour and the Shape holds the distinction of being one of the very first albums I put on my Ipod. When I was picking songs to showcase, I knew I wanted at least song you might not have heard, and I wanted Everlong (it being my personal favorite Foo song). Enjoy the tunage.

This is a Call

Everlong

Now Entering - The Jager Meister

I can't tell if this guy is just rockin' the fuck out or having a stroke so I'm a little concerned.


EMBED-The Jaeger Meister - Watch more free videos

Sloth Crossing the Street

That is all


Side Note - In case you didn't know, R. Kelly is most certainly insane. Need proof? The following was made.

From Around the Interwebs #4 - Lions, Bill Cosby and Racist Penguins

Swag to infinity

Acid flashbacks - they'll get you when you're least expecting it.

Country Hip Hop - two great tastes that taste great together

This is Cowboy Hip Hop! I gotta add some of these moves to my repertoire. Moves this slick demand to be busted.

Monday Music - Tyler, the Creator "She" and "Goblin"

When I first heard Tyler, the Creator I wasn't sure what to make of it - I could tell he had skill but I wasn't sure if I liked the general vibe. As I heard more though, I really started dig his style. I've picked out two sick songs off of Goblin for ya - the album is pretty sick overall and I recommend checking it out.

She

Goblin

Insane Clown Posse rap over a Mozart beat made my Jack White

In other words, all my greatest dreams have come true. I hope Jack White can make a beat that Violent J can really explore musically. Also  they refer to Beethoven as "Beef-Oven", so there's that. Is it genius? Decide for yourself.

Insane Clown Posse - Leck Mich Im Arsch by Third Man Records

Summer Movie Review Recap

Just some quick reviews of all the movies I've seen since my last review post. There were probably more movies, but I forgot about em. (Couldn't have been that good if I forgot about them, right?)

Leon

I've wanted to see this movie for a while, as I had heard it was pretty badass. Turns out what I heard was 100% accurate. 4/5.

From Around the Interwebs #3 - Go-Go Girls, Ghettoblasters, and the late, great Jim Henson

Great job!

Fuck yea curly fries

The Triumphant Return

I'm back bitches! Did you miss me?

(Pause for everyone to stretch out their arms and say "I missed you thiiiiisssss much")

Some of you may be wondering what happened. I wish I could say something more exciting, like I got captured by Russian spies, or that I set the new world record for most Cheetos eaten in five minutes, but I've simply been working. You know, on my grind, getting that cheddar, straight hustlin (you know how I do). But with school starting back up, I won't be working full time, and (hopefully) will be able to go back to posting pictures of kitties.

In the mean time, here's a bunch of Indian dudes horsing around on a train. The outside of a moving train that is.

Monday Music - Lil B "Hoes on my Dick" and "What are You Doing?"

And then he returned! (more on that later)

Lil' B is..... different. I can't say whether or not he's actually a good musician - there's lots of people who would say his songs aren't music at all - but there's no doubting his swag. It becomes clear through his songs that Lil' B straight don't give a fuck - he often doesn't rhyme, is super repetitive, and is almost always off beat. But somehow, at least for him, it all works. WARNING - Andy Milonakis goes HAM on one of the following tracks.

"Hoes on My Dick"

"What are You Doing


Quick side note - If some big Hollywood types ever decide to make a movie about my life (and why wouldnt they? A movie about a random white dude sounds like gold to me) they better get Andy Milonakis to play me.

Monday Music - Blink 182 "Dammit" and "Going Away for College"

If you were between the ages of 10-18 between the years of 1998-2002 then you probably enjoyed the musical stylings of Blink-182. They recently released a new song, "Up All Night", but the song blows, so I'm not gonna link to it or nothin. Find that shit on your own time. I decided to focus on two of their hits off the live CD The Mark, Tom, and Travis show - my personal choice for best Blink album (it included such wisdom as "don't eat dog semen, it's full of calories" and "Is it wrong to shit yourself while your sleeping? Not that I do it, but I did it last night, and I'm wondering if that's what smells".

"Dammit"

"Going Away for College"

From Around the Interwebs #2 - Bears, Eagles and AC Slater

Hidden eagle attacks. You've been warned.

Dr. Claw was a bitch. Any "supervillain" that is routinely stopped by a little girl and her dog shouldn't be seen as a threat.

Monday Music - Kid Cudi "Pursuit of Happiness" and "Switchin' Lanes"

Kid Cudi makes G.O.O.D. music. Here's two of his best, and if you want to hear more, I recommend you go here. Torrents are proof that the Internet, deep down, really is all about sharing, and thus caring.

"Pursuit of Happiness"

"Switchin Lanes"

Summer Movie Review - Road Trip: Beer Pong

This movie has everything you wanted in a direct-to-dvd sequel to a ten year old comedy - lots of wacky scenarios, drinking, weed, boobies, and DJ Qualls. If your expecting a good movie, then you should not watch Road Trip Beer Pong. If, like me, you want to watch a movie purely because Abed from Community is in it, then you should check it out.

Best Part - Abed, or whatever his name is in this movie, stoned out of his gourd at the end.

Rating - 1.5/5 in comparison to all movies, 3/5 in comparison to other direct-to-dvd comedy sequels

Summer Movie Review - Grown Ups

It was on in the background while I played NHL Monopoly with my roommates. It was about as good as you would expect from a movie with Rob Schnieder in it- it has moments but overall it's the definition of mediocre. On the topic of Kevin James, I have decided to watch "The Zookeeper" because a gorilla said "shut up" in a funny voice during the trailer. Those movie execs really know how to get my attention.

Best Part - I won the game of Monopoly I was playing.

Rating - 2/5, worse than Paul Blart Mall Cop but better than Deuce Bigalow 2 (Not that that's really an accomplishment)

Summer Movie Review - Lost in Translation

Let's start with the obvious - Bill Murray is awesome. That's not an opinion, that's straight fact. And he was awesome in Lost in Translation. Second, Lost in Translation is pretty fuckin' good (they should put that quote on the movie poster, assuming they take quotes for movie posters years after the movie comes out and from little-known blogs). Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson are both great, and the story, unlike many other movies, feels like it actually could be true. My roommates had different reactions to the movie, but I really liked it, and reccomend to everyone that hasn't seen it to check it out.

Best Part - Staying up all night singing karaoke in Japan with Bill Murray seems like fun.

Rating - 4.5/5

Summer Movie Review - See No Evil, Hear No Evil

I had no idea what to expect going in - I felt this could either be pretty good or really bad. While it wasn't amazing, See No Evil, Hear No Evil was a pretty solid comedy, though the idea that one guy was blind and one guy was deaf both sounds and was really gimicky. It's got all your eighties comedy staples - mixed race leads, slapstick humor, funny accents and, of course, boobs. All in all, a solid movie if you're bored and can't decide what to watch on Netflix.

Best Part - Richard Pryor having to pretend to be a renowned gynecologist just writes itself.

Rating - 3/5

From Around the Interwebs - Snoop, Kanye and a Snowboarding Monkey

Welcome to my new weekly column, "From Around the Interwebs", where I will find 20 pictures I found stumbling around the Internet and post them for your viewing pleasure. For the first week, I chose to look back at some of my favorite pictures that have been featured on my site over the last five months, and next week will feature 20 all new pictures never before seen....on this blog. Enjoy!

Not awesome? Dude just wants to get in some fights bro. He's been training UFC.

The rest of the pictures after the jump

Fireworks are Awesome

I think Apu said it best - "Celebrate your country by blowing up a small part of it!"

Monday Music - Michael Jackson

MJ, otherwise known as the Crowned King of Pop, was and still is the single greatest musician of all time. Sure, he might have been a little strange, but that doesn't stop him from being one of the most talented performers ever. RIP MJ.

"Beat It"

"Don't Stop Till You Get Enough"

Summer Movie Review - The Fighter

The moral of the story? Don't do crack. Also there were a shit ton of mosquitos in the house when I was watching this movie. I must have killed a solid dozen while the movie was on.

Rating - 4/5 (Not as good as True Grit, but better than the Social Network)

Best Part - Watching Christian Bale fall into garbage twice was pretty funny. But that might just be me.

Karl's Top 7 - Favorite Internet Memes

If the Internet was a real place, it would be the strangest/coolest/scariest place in the world. The Internet is great because it allows the world to connect with each other, and is frightening for the very same reason. Memes are the product of this interconnectedness, and are one of the greatest things to come out of the Internet since Betty White. For more information on memes, check out Know Your Meme.

Honorable Mentions - Musically Oblivious 8th Grader, Most Interesting Man in the World, PTSD Clarinet Boy

7. Vengeance Dad

Remember when I said the Internet was scary? Vengeance Dad plays on how creepy the dad in this picture looks. The look on his face is one of no remorse, as if he has lost his soul long ago. Vengeance Dad is one of the creepier, though still hilarious, memes out there.

More - Vengeance Dad

Pimp Alert

Karl, age 10

It looks like we've gotten another look into this kid's balla life. Here he is in his natural habitat, hanging with hotties and being awesome. He seems to have upgraded a little since the last picture, realizing that older girls know more stuff. Bravo young sir, you've continued to prove you can ball to you fall. And for that, we salute you.

Bus 62 Has No Fear

The thoughts of the driver of the bus - "Just a little rain out there. I say fuck it, drive on through. Might even clean the floors up a bit, save me some time later. Check out the awesome waves I'm making. Almost there......almost...... I DID IT I AM A GOD AMONGST MEN AND BUS 62 IS MY GLORIOUS STEED. BOWN DOWN TO ME AND WORSHIP YOUR NEW KING"

Also, why didn't that person try to get out of the way of those waves? Did they think they wouldn't get knocked back?

The Secret World of Animals

Allan! Allan! Allan! Allan! Allan! Allan! Allan! Allan! Allan!

Summer Movie Review - Hall Pass

This movie could have been really shitty. Luckily, it was not. Hall Pass was a pretty solid little comedy, with some solid jokes, great supporting cast and, of course, boobies. What's not to like?

Best Part - The hypothetical hall pass story from the British guy at the end of the movie was gold.

Rating - 3.5/5

Monday Music - Notorious B.I.G. "Ten Crack Commandments" and "Hypnotize"

Biggie Smalls has swag to infinity. I have no idea how I left him off my Top 7 Rappers list, as he is definitely one of the best that ever did it. One of the very first rap songs I remember hearing was Hypnotize, and I don't think a better introduction could have been given. Enjoy the classics below, and go listen to a few more after while your at it.

"Ten Crack Commandments"

"Hypnotize"

Summer Movie Review - The Mechanic

If you liked The Transporter series, or the Crank movies, or really any other movie Jason Statham is in, then you will enjoy this movie. If you don't like Jason Statham, then we are no longer friends. I mean it. We're just too different.

Best Part - They literally drove a SUV head on, and then straight through, a bus. It was awesome.

Rating - 4/5

Summer Movie Review - Unknown

I really liked Taken, and from the reviews I had read I heard that Unknown was similar, so I went in expecting the movie to be good. And it was. Unknown was a solid action movie, with plenty of attractive ladies, and unexpected plot turns (that may or may not make sense) to keep you satisfied. It wasn't as good as Taken, but that movie was also the bee's knees.

Best Scene - Once Liam Neeson decided to be a badass for the rest of the movie, it got a lot better

Rating - 3.5/5

Summer Movie Review - Sucker Punch

During the action scenes with robot nazis and demon samurais, the movie was BADASS. During the rest of it, it was confusing and ridiculous. I wouldn't recommend it unless you're really, really, really high. But at that point you could watch most anything and have a great time.

Best Part - Fighting the samurais came out of nowhere (like most everything in this movie) and were ready to party.

Rating - 2.5/5

Best Cab Driver Ever

What the fuck goes on in cabs in Brazil? The cab drivers here are either surly or slinging wisdom, but never doing impressions of popular 80's songs.

Summer Movie Review - Paul

Paul was a pretty decent movie. The problem is that I was expecting something better. Paul is from the same guys that made Shaun of the Dead Hot Fuzz, and Paul doesn't come anywhere near the level of those two movies. It's not that it's bad - it's that it's just alright. I dunno, maybe my expectations were too high.

Best Moment - Bill Hader and Joe Lo Truglio playing hide and seek on the job

Rating - 3/5

Summer Movie Review - The Usual Suspects

Knowing the big plot twist going in to the movie kinda ruined it for me. It was ok, but I felt like it would have been better not knowing

Best Part - Anytime Benicio Del Toro talked

Rating 3/5

Why You Get Hangovers with James May

Just a quick lesson on why you feel like your brain got hit by a Mack Truck the morning after you spend your night getting reacquainted with your old friend Olde English. Also, Top Gear is the shit.

Best Store Ever

What else could you ask for?

I was originally going to a top 7 list for reasons why Walmart is awesome (because it is), but I couldn't find seven real points. So here's the summary of my argument - using a near perfect distrubution model, Walmart is able to offer almost anything to it's customers at a lower price, without sacrificing quality. Yes, they crush competition, but if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. And fuck unions. Be grateful you have a job.

The Karl's Shenanigans State of the Union Address

WOO KARL'S SHENANIGANS IS FIVE MONTHS OLD!!!!!!!1!!1!!11!

Karl's Shenangins: The Greatest Blog ever ....blogged

Anyways, after five months, I've finally started to get a grasp on how to properly run a blog. Because of this, I have decided to make some changes to the overall style of the blog. I haven't really decided what I want to do more of, and what to cut out, so if there's anything you want to see more of or see less of, tell me about it. The first change I'm announcing is that I will no longer be writing the UFC posts - they take a lot of time, and don't fit in well with the rest of the blog.

Also, quick shout out to my fans in Denmark - I think it's cool knowing people across the world visit my site

Monday Music - Big Sean "I Do It" and "Too Fake"

I've been blasting Big Sean tracks all week, so I figured he earned his shout out on a small Canadian blog (obviously this will be the highlight of his life - how could it not be?). He's got a new album coming out soon, so that should be sick, and I've got two songs to get you excited for it.

I Do It

Too Fake

Summer Movie Review - XMen First Class

Now, I usually enjoy superhero movies cause theyre all about kicking crazy monster ass (and the usual attractive ladies in skimpy clothing doesn't hurt any). If you also enjoy superhero movies for this reason, then you will enjoy First Class. I don't know much about the comic books and how this really fits in (i'm assuming they just took random characters from the comic book and shoved them together), but it didn't have any negative effect on the movie experience for me. The story isn't revolutionary, but it serves it's point, and I thought James McAvoy (from Wanted) and the guy who plays Magneto both gave solid performances, and both January Jones and the girl who played Mystique (I think she was nominated for an Oscar last year) filled their roles of "Look, I have boobies" very well. I'm not kidding when I say I don't think there was a scene with January Jones that didn't show off her cleavage. I am also not complaining

Best Part - The ending when Magneto finally gets his revenge on Kevin Bacon (I can only assume he was upset that Bacon did not star in Hollow Man 2) was pretty cool. And the two major cameos were pretty awesome (I didn't expect em at least)

Rating - 3.5/5, or better than X-Men 3, but not as good as X-Men 1 or 2. About equal with the Wolverine movie.

Extra, almost completely unrelated fun fact: The Wikipedia page for Hollow Man 2 has a warning that the plot summary is either too long, or excessively detailed. You get to choose which one.

Little Kids Playing With Guns

This is both very strange and very awesome. I dunno about the song though.

EDIT - I did not realize that this video was far too large for my normal layout. 

Conan OBrien is Awesome at Speeches

It's a long video, but I thought it was both funny and inspiring. I've watched a few episodes of Conan recently and it's pretty funny - definitely becoming a fan.

The Truth

I had to do it.

That's how I spend 60, no 65 percent of my time

Armchair Matchmaker - UFC 131

I'll be honest, I didn't watch most of the fights. It was my birthday so I was busy getting shitfaced. Anyways, I've read a few play by plays, so hopefully that will make up for it (and I saw some highlights on The Score at like 3 in the morning.

Cut List - Mike Massenzio, Aaron Rosa

Junior Dos Santos vs Cain Velasquez
This is a matchup between the two that many believe are the best heavyweights in the world. Velasquez is a tremendous wrestler (as well as having some serious power), while Dos Santos is an elite level boxer (with great defensive wrestling). If Velasquez can take Dos Santos down, the fight should be his. If it stays on the feet though, this could go any which way.

Monday Music - Jimi Hendrix "Little Wing" and "Voodoo Child"

Jimi Hendrix is the coolest. Nuff said.

Little Wing

'Voodoo Child"

The Most Interesting Man in the World

The year is 1991. A young boy named Robert Jeffrey got what every little boy was dreaming of, the oppurtunity to record a music video in front of a green screen. Getting his choice for song, he knew that there wasn't much of a choice at all: How could one not choose "Vogue" by Madonna? So he got up there, took a deep breath, and gave A PERFORMANCE OF THE MILLENIA. Using moves others had thought impossible to pull off, and leaving everything out there in front of the green screen, little Robert Jeffrey was for, at least a moment, the most magnificent performer the world had ever known.

Fun Fact - Tim Allen May Be A Badass

Nice 'Stache

As it turns out, Tim Allen - otherwise as known as Tim "The Toolman" Taylor- served two years in jail for dealing coke. I'll never be able to watch Home Improvement and not think about that again. Or Toy Story.

The Odyssey of the Modern Man

It's like the Odyssey, if Odysseus was plastered the whole time instead of fighting monsters from Greek mythology

BONUS PICTURE!!!1!!1!!1!
Sure, there's been plenty of papers written on The Aeneid vs the Odyssey, but what would happen if they fought for real? Luckily, I have a photograph from ancient times, depicting an actual battle between the Aeneid and the Odyssey that took place in Plato's secret illegal gambling den. Legends say that the Odyssey won by third round TKO, but no one knows for sure.

The Odyssey smiles as he can see fear in the Aeneid's eyes

Unbelievable Sights, Indescribable Feelings

"Yeah I fly on carpets all the time, this is no big deal"

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me princess now when did you last
Let your heart decide?
I can open your eyes
take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways, and under
on a magic carper ride
A whole new world!
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no,
or where to go,
or say we're only dreaming...

Karl's Picks - UFC 131

 Time for the third UFC card in three weeks, and we got a bunch more ahead. As a fan, it's great, but I'm struggling getting the Picks and Matchmaker posts up for each event. This is the biggest card of the recent ones, and features a really good matchup of Junior Dos Santos and Shane Carwin. Both guys are the definition of knockout artists, and fireworks should be expected. Anyways, on to the picks.

Darren Elkins (11-2, 1-1 UFC) vs Michihiro Omigawa (12-9-1, 0-3 UFC)
Recent Fights
Elkins: Submission loss to Charlie Oliveira, TKO win over Duane Ludwig, decision win over Gideon Ray
Omigawa: Decision loss to Chad Mendes, submission wins over Cole Escovedo and Young Sam Jung
Strengths
Elkins: Good record in the minors
Omigawa: Great judo, lots of experience
Weaknesses
Elkins: Haven't seen much from him
Omigawa: Can be outwrestled,
Prediction
Elkins, after two quick fights in the UFC, makes his featherweight debut against one of the best in the world in Michihiro Omigawa. It might not look like it from his record, but Omigawa is an outstanding featherweight, who UFC losses are to top contender Chad Mendes and two previous losses years ago at lightweight. I really don't know much about Elkins - both of his fights have lasted less than two minutes, and his win only came by injury. I think Omigawa is going to show how experience makes a difference by easily taking the fight to the mat and submitting Elkins. Omigawa by armbar in the first.

Karl's Top 7 - Most Badass Characters on Beast Wars

Many don't know this, but Beast Wars is actually the greatest television show ever made. The show started with a basic concept of having gorillas fight dinosaurs (which, on it's own, sounds fucking sweet) and kicked up a notch by also making the gorillas and dinosaurs Transformers. Then they made shit real by setting the whole show on *spoilers* Earth. I know what you're thinking, and yes, the show was often dangerously intense and overwhelmingly badass. I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to watch Beast Wars if you have a heart condition because there's so much action.
I remember having a VHS of the first two episodes, and it came with a card that, when you turned it, changed from Optimus Prime Animal Form and Robot Form. I guarded that card with my life.

7. Tarantulus
When I was younger, I liked Tarantulus alot more, but upon more recent viewings, he's kind of a dick. He still can shoot bullets from his arms and has cool gadgets though.

Monday Music - Common "Be" and "Go"

Common is just a cool fucking character. If Common was a character in Grease, he would definitely be Kenicke (Fuck Danny Zuko). If he was a character on Beast Wars he would most certainly be Tigertron (I'd say Rhinox, but Rhinox is simply to awesome to have a mere human as a parallel). If he was a boss in the first Paper Mario game, he would be the Crystal King (Nothing like Tubba Blubba - that guy's a pansy).

Anyways, here's the tunage. Listening to music like this is good for your ears. Listen enough and you'll be able to fly around with them like Dumbo. And don't even try to say that wouldn't be awesome.

"Be"

"Go"

Karl's Review - LA Noire

One of the first cases you get, and one of my favorites of the whole game

I just finished LA Noire, and I have to say, while it was a great game it felt a little short of what I expected. While a great game, I didn't feel the same way about LA Noire as I felt with Rockstar's previous game, Red Dead Redemption. That's not a knock against LA Noire - Red Dead Redemption is one of my favorite games on the 360 - I was just expecting something as good and felt that LA Noire came close to, but never quite up to, that level.
LA Noire is still a fantastic game. The whole investigation and interrogation system was really well implemented, and interrogating was both a lot harder, and a lot more fun, than I expected it to be. The story cases are all well done, and the additional street cases add some more action into a game that at times can be a little slow. Throwing in hidden cars, film reels, newspapers, and landmarks to collect add more to do, and the virtual LA Rockstar created is extremely detailed and well crafted. The game was a little shorter than I expected, but there's enough additional content there to keep you interested. I'd be interested in the DLC that gets released later, and might end up picking up a rerelease with all the extra content later.

Overall - 9/10

Armchair Matchmaker - Ultimate Fighter 13 Finale

Unlike last week's UFC 130, the finale card was actually pretty good. Some solid undercard fights, coupled with some good KOs on the main card means an overall entertaining night of fights.

Cut List - Ken Stone, Ryan McGillivray, Chuck O'Neil,

Clay Guida vs the winner of Jim Miller v. Ben Henderson
Clay Guida picked up a big win with his decision over Anthony Pettis, but it wasn't the most exciting performance. A fight against the winner of the upcoming Jim Miller/Ben Henderson fight would create a number one contender, as well as being a matchup in which both guys tremendous wrestling could negate each other, forcing the fight to stay on the feet.

Karl's Picks - Ultimate Fighter 13 Season Finale

 Well, another shitty season of The Ultimate Fighter is in the bag, and it's time for the final card. Outside of the main event, there's not a whole lot of interesting stuff here, but it's free, so what do you expect? Also, due to the lateness of this post (some of the fights were only announced in the past few days) this won't be a full prediction post - sorry to the three people that might care.

Chuck "Cold Steel" O'Neil (8-3) vs Chris "C-Murder" Cope (4-1)
Let's get the obvious out of the way - those are some fucking awful nicknames. Two of the worst I've ever heard. As for a pick, I don't know - from what I've seen both of these guys suck. I guess I'll go with Cope because I watched one of the O'Neil fights and he just looked awful. On the bright side I doubt either of these guys will be around by this time next year.

Summer Movie Review - Boondock Saints

Overall, pretty cool movie. Never felt slow, had some fuckin awesome action scenes, and Rocco was hilarious. I also didn't know that Ron Jeremy was in any movies where he didn't play Ron Jeremy. The more I think about it, the more I like it. If you haven't (and i assume many of you have), check it out. If you have seen it, watch it again.

Best scene: The action scene that Willem Dafoe explains as it happens was awesome, and the incident with the cat was strange and hilarious.

Rating - 4.5/5

Rage Faces: A Primer

Above: The many faces of the internet

If you don't know what rage faces are, please go stumble around here. For those that know, enjoy this graph of the many different rage faces.

Lessons in Being a Boss with John Carpenter

This is how you win Who Wants to be a Millionaire when your a total fucking badass

Also, Regis Philbin is my idol. (Well, one of, along with Alex Trebek and Pat Sajak)

Monday Music - Lupe Fiasco "Words I Never Said" and "Daydreamin"

I just downloaded Lupe Fiasco's "Lasers", and I gotta say, it's pretty solid. I should have expected good things after enjoying Food and Liquor and The Cool, but I was still impressed by how much I liked the album after listening through it. I gotta get a few more listens in before I can decide what my favorite songs are, but I saw Words I Never Said on the Colbert Report and it was awesome. If you haven't heard any Lupe before, I strongly recommend checking out more of his songs - he's pretty fucking good.

"Words I Never Said"

"Daydreamin"

Plans for the day

Starting LA Noire today - hopefully will have a review up at the end of the week. I've heard good things, and Rockstar generally delivers, so I'm pretty excited.